CAUSE
1.Recent move
2.Brief unemployment
3.Three job opportunities
4.Daughter #2 moved back in with husband (whom I loathe)
5.Grandchildren (whom I LOVE) moved with Daughter #2
6.Flat tire
7.Car needs front end alignment and 1 (or 2, or 4) new tires (depending on which repair place you talk to)
8.Death of beloved Grandmother
9.Concern over Mother's future
10.Unwanted celibacy
The above occurred over a one month period of time with the exception of #3,4,5,6,and 7 which happened today
EFFECT
1.More gray hair
2.Irritability
3.Frequent crying
4.Technician at car repair place asked what color my car was and I replied "black", as I was texting my daughter to come pick me up. He then said "Is that (a) pearl, do you like it?" and I'm thinking, technically it is black pearl, but is that important? Then I realized he was talking about my PHONE(in my hand), not my CAR.
5.I texted my sister (in Kansas) to "please pick me up, just past Marsh on the right" to which she responded "WTF?", instead of my daughter (1/4 mile down the road). This is even funnier if you know that just recently I sent a text to my daughter's boyfriend that was intended for someone else who had recently inquired about the status of my breasts.
6.Walked out of w@lm@rt to a car parked in the fire lane, reached for the door handle, realized there was a cute little black dog in the front seat (we don't have a black dog),then looked up and saw daughter, parked several yards away, laughing hysterically.
The above occurred TODAY!
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10 comments:
But your car is less than a year old!!!
Maybe you can get rid of that unwanted celibacy AND get 4 new tires at the same time (I'd say "As well as a lube job", but that would be wrong) n___n
Heh, I've never texted the wrong person, but I did send a rather steamy e-mail to the wrong recipient. Very embarrassing.
You been driving through some northeastern pot holes? That's the quickest way to fubar your alignment.
People ask the status of your breasts? People that aren't Circe? Wow.
If the car tech is a cutie, maybe you can swing a "buy one get one free" deal by doing him a free "alignment"
"People ask the status of your breasts? People that aren't Circe? Wow."
What? What? What? Like... Circe is in charge of OKC breast status? When last I heard, men all over Northern TX/Southern OK were avidly interested in OKC's breasts. Men and Amie.
And yet, not a single breast on her Myspace page, just cute kid pictures :)
Wow Brian, you only value OKC's 'alignment' skills at a 50% discount level? I figured she was good for free bodywork for life ;)
Dave, that MySpace is family friendly! Breast pics are best shared via cell phone!I like to think that I could get a NEW car for my skillz!
Wait. You have a MYSPACE account? Why don't I know this? (The same reason I don't apparently know the status of your breasts?)
My MySpace is family friendly(boring)!
Hey, breasts are family friendly. Family is the whole REASON for breasts! The whole, 'fun things to play with for hours and hours' thing is merely a side benefit
**Side note** Notice how the mere mention of breasts makes the comment count *ahem* rise?
But wait a sec. How come Dave has the link to your Myspace and I don't? (I bet it was Dave you were texting re the status of your breasts, too!!!)
;)
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